...a guitar hero, but I play one on TV (er, well, not really).
...addicted to shopahol, but I do like buying stuff.
...ready to admit that I'm a "grown up," even though my son calls me Dad.
...a complete narcissist, even though I'd certainly be justified if I was.
...likely to ever bother trying shrimp again, since they're basically the bottom-feeding, scum-sucking cockroaches of the sea. Bon appetit!
...trying to start a new Facebook note-posting trend with this thing.
...a lesbian, because I'm a dude...but I dig chicks anyway.
...unemployed, even though nobody else can claim me as their employee.
...interested in causing physical harm to anybody, but if someone breaks into my house while I'm here, they won't get much chance to explain themselves before I try to introduce them to God the hard way.
...a hyphenated U.S. citizen.
...thinking about moving, and wondering if/when/how. Nope, not at all.
...a real mean guy most of the time...but I can be a jerk every now and then. Watch out fellas.
...a fan of movies, generally speaking, but I love a good comedy or action film.
...going to put off getting started with the day to think up more witty garbage to list here.
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